In the first world, in the shape of the flower was wonderful... in the beginning. Connected to the entire natural world feeling the living of beat of the earth in your very essence. But as time wore on the flower walls began to close in on me, like the end of a cave that continues getting smaller and darker till it feels like you can not breath. The change of every season felt like a new death, and the sun ceased to bring a smile to my petals. Every form started to feel as such, until I found my home in the final world as a Prototectid.
I suppose you are wondering why anyone would want to be Prototectid. The truth is that I have never found true freedom in any of my other forms because they would not allow me to experience what the sea and land had to offer to the fullest. As an amphibious whale, I can do just that. I have the freedom to sing my songs in the open sea and move on land to see the sun, birds and trees. Most of my kind stop looking after their second world for their true form, but not I. I do not settle for second best. I will only take the best and I must tell you reader that this is truly the only way to live.
Edited by Alex Welch and Nicole Kaack
I love your blog. It is so amazing. I love your "prototectid." I know it was a word once upon a time, but I like how you use it in your story. I love your names. I think your writing is too informal to communicate the ideas that you are trying to send (freedom, etc.) The voice you have made is more casual and talkative in a face-to-face way. You need to use more eloquent form, I feel, to get across bigger ideas. But that is just me.
ReplyDeleteI like your blog post very much, I think it's very creative the way you showed the search for freedom through this science fiction type story. I also think that it is great how you show some mystery by telling us so much information but not telling us why and how it's possible. I think you could've expanded more about why you weren't happy in your previous forms in order to make it more clear why you are happy in this form. For example, why did you not feel free as a flower? If you had done that I feel like the post would be much stronger.
ReplyDeleteI love your post! I thinks it's cool how you talk about your past lives and names. I agree with abster up there about maybe elaborating a little bit on why you weren't happy in your previous forms as Alexandra, Alex, Allie, Alexa, and Andy? What didn't you have then that you have now? I also like how you talk to the reader directly, and even acknowledge them directly.
ReplyDeleteGreat first post. I am interested to see how you can develop a story around a self aware whale that has knowledge of its previous existence. Other then introducing yourself, how can you build upon a blog being written by a sea dwelling creature without the ability to type manually due to their lack of opposable thumbs and motor skills. Still, awesome first post
ReplyDeleteBeing a fan of the Sci-fi genre, I really enjoyed the concept behind the story. The world you have created here is so interesting it simply makes me want to read more. I agree with Nicole, it doesn't really sound like you are telling a story, it really seems like you are just talking to someone and we just happen to be listening in. If you change it will make your post all the more interesting. Regardless, great plot and great character developement.
ReplyDeleteI like the creativeness of the "afterlife" concept and how you can pick what animal or creature you want to be in your next life. The only thing is that it sounds you are writing in your diary or journal and this is just what has happened to you recently. But overall, it was an imaginative work.
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