Conciseness

Wanting to join their dance I swam amongst them and they parted in front of me as the Red Sea did for Moses.

I swam amongst the fish that parted before me

I swam into the fish

swimming through the fish

fish

The next night we anchored by Little Jost Van Dyke a small rocky uninhabited island where, after watching the earth spin into the dark, we saw a neon green shooting star fly across the empty stretch of space, like a nymph from the forest lost in the void.

We saw a green star fly across the sky.

The green star fell from the sky

a star fell

star

I was surrounded by a downpour of silver droplets unable to see anything else besides them.

A downpour of silver droplets blinded me.

The silver fish encompassed me

Fish encompassed me

Encompassed